The New Year: Looking Backward and Forward

It’s the new year. Everyone knows. Whether we celebrated the last few seconds with friends and family counting down with our local tv stations while drinking some sort of bubbly drink or stayed at home doing random things because we know that it’s just like any other day that brings us closer to the next, we tend to spend that time thinking about how we have spent the past year or maybe even further back and we look forward to the many resolutions we hope to succeed in to give us hope for the next year and on. What is interesting is that it is this time of year where I feel as though we spend the most time thinking about our lives more than any other. In any case, that long winded introduction has brought me to the things which I have thought about of my life these past couple of weeks

Looking back, there is regret in my life. However, I am not the type of person that usually holds onto regret. Thinking about it these past couple weeks, I would have to say that I am able to count the real regrets on one hand and that’s not a lot. What I realize about those regrets is that I have not really changed or improved upon those regrets much. They linger in the far recesses of my brain only to rise up again when stimulated by certain events. Yet a couple can actually stay afloat in constant thought. But what is the real reason these regrets stay and never get resolved? The only way is to stop thinking about my lost predicament and start to focus elsewhere. And in my attempt to start focusing, I shall say the answer is that I do not focus on Jesus. Why do I say “in my attempt”? It’s because these past couple of weeks, maybe even longer, I have, in the words of Romans 1, suppressed God in my life because of my selfishness… my wickedness… my sinfulness. And this suppression is not active, it is unconscious. That is why I need to attempt, to actively deny my natural tendency of denying God and try to focus on him.

So, now with those regrets still lingering, I must try to see what God is teaching me through these things and begin to look foward.

With each new day passing, there obviously needs to be change. We know that this is the time of year where it is a good starting point for change, but so many times our desire for change is so self-focused, the most common of them being, “I need to lose weight.” How many times have we seen in the gym, starting January 1, the gym’s attendance skyrocket to double maybe even triple the amount of people from a month before? I will not deny that I have become one of the contributors to that number, but how often is it we have seen the number of times our Bible opens in our daily life or see ourselves depend on God through prayer increase from the month before? And again, I will not deny that I am guilty of not adding to that number, but things need to change.

So, for the new year, I will start to journal, whether through blog or personal journal so that I can see my thoughts and actively fight my suppression of God. But the main focus for this year will be Matthew 5:8. All I want is to see God. That should be number one on my list.

And looking back one more time, I could not be any more thankful for the friends that I have. I miss them all so much. I’m so thankful for the time spent in chicago the past couple weeks. It was so re-energizing and has made my appreciation for all of them increase exponentially.

Finally, just to end this journal entry because I can go on forever, I shall add to the number of exercise junkies for the new year and try to outlast them all.